Awful Fanbases: Texas A&M
As the newest–and arguably strangest–addition to the SEC, Texas A&M is getting more than their fair attention as of late. Let’s take a moment to learn a little bit more about the history of this program and the fans that make the Aggies so contemptible.
The Little Brother
You cannot discuss Texas A&M without discussing their unhealthy and preoccupying fixation with Texas.
The relationship between Texas and Texas A&M is not unlike what we see from Michigan and Michigan State up in the north, with the exception being that Michigan State actually has significant success from time to time. Texas A&M has an overpowering little brother syndrome in relation to Texas that bleeds into everything that they do. If you ask an Aggie what they think of the Longhorns, assuming you’re fortunate enough to find one capable of communication beyond grunts and scrapes, you’ll be treated to a vulgar rant about the evils of Longhorn football complete with a fresh misting of spittle. While that Aggie continues to babble about class make your way to the nearest Texas fan and ask them what they think of the Aggies. The reaction you’ll get in return will fall somewhere between the broad range of a shrug to a disinterested laugh.
Texas goes about their business in the spotlight while Texas A&M waits for the chance to drag them into their cabin, smash their ankles and either kill them or fuck them.
Possibly both.
Those Poor Dogs
If you do manage to communicate with an Aggie first of all make a note in your field guide but secondly ask them about their dog cemetery. You heard me.
Texas A&M has gone the live mascot route and trots out a long-suffering American Collie called Reveille for its home losses. As soon as a Reveille dies, either as the result of sexual trauma at the hands of cadets or disgust, its remains are moved to a cemetery near the stadium complete with its own miniature scoreboard. Yes, the school funded a tiny live scoreboard for the dead dogs so they can watch Baylor drag A&M’s ass up and down the field IN REAL TIME.
The current iteration of their mascot, Reveille VIII, along with sporting the haunted eyes of an abuse victim is significant for achieving a higher standing GPA than Rick Perry.
Although to be fair to Rick I’m sure achieving a 2.0 in Animal Sciences from a school that reluctantly teaches evolution was a massive challenge.
The List Eater
There is perhaps no incident in the history of A&M more controversial than The List Eater. Well, maybe integration but those wounds are still fresh.
Whenever A&M manages to limp past enough SMUs and Baylors to squeak their way into a bowl game you can count on their fans camping out for days to secure the right to watch their Aggies lose in person. In 2004 one dedicated, and if I may say delectable Aggies fan showed up minutes before the ticket windows opened and decided to take matters into her own gaping maw. She homed in on the Aggie holding a list of names and places in line and proceeded to devour it.
Her strategy was:
1. Skip to the front of the line.
2. Eat the list.
3. Talk ’bout Jesus.
In the end despite the protests of her fellow Aggies the List Eater secured her tickets and followed through on her dream to see the Aggies stomped in the Cotton Bowl by Tennessee 38-7.
The Mediocrity
When someone asks you to name a delusional college fanbase the usual suspects probably come to mind: Notre Dame, Clemson, BYU (on and off the field) but Texas A&M really shouldn’t be undersold. Every year is finally going to be the year that A&M leapfrogs Texas and becomes the POWER of America’s worst state, and every year they fall short. The futility of this paper tiger program can best be shown by its bowl record since joining the Big XII:
YEAR BOWL OPPONENT RESULT
1997 Cotton Bowl UCLA 23-29 LOSS
1998 Sugar Bowl Ohio State 14-24 LOSS
1999 Alamo Bowl Penn State 0-24 LOSS
2000 Indepdendence Bowl Mississippi St. 41-43 LOSS
2001 Galleryfurniture.com Bowl TCU 28-9 WIN!
2004 Cotton Bowl Tennessee 7-38 LOSS
2006 Holiday Bowl Cal 10-45 LOSS
2007 Alamo Bowl Penn State 17-24 LOSS
2008 Independence Bowl Georgia 20-44 LOSS
2010 Cotton Bowl LSU 24-41 LOSS
1-9 (.100) and outscored 321 – 184. Two more bowl wins and you would have caught up to Iowa State. SO CLOSE!
This is the team that was supposed to leapfrog Texas before they finally ran away to the SEC to hide from them. Hopefully they enjoy being passed around the SEC like a cadet pledge. Speaking of which…
The Corps of Cadets
Trying to reduce the spirit of the corps down to a few sentences is no easy task. Imagine a University sanctioned group that wrapped up the worst stereotypes about the military, the south and fraternity culture into one odious package. Now imagine someone wrote a sexually repressed fan-fiction about that group and then you’ll have the cadets.
As part of their pledging procedure each prospective cadet has to keep a jar filled with a variety of fluids provided by their senior cadets somewhere in their room (frequently under their bed). Those fluids almost always are excreted from the cadets themselves, usually as part of a ritual circle jerk where the cadets take turns ejaculating into the pledge’s jar. They’ve also been known to contain a magical pot pourri of other things like menstrual fluid.
The proud traditions of the military. I wonder if Hannibal ever beat off into the jar. If you are an A&M fan reading this no I do not mean Hannibal Smith.
Enduring a few weeks in the presence of this rapidly fermenting broth of self-hatred and bodily fluids is a rite de passage for cadets.
Matt, you seem like a good man but I just don’t know if I can trust you to have my back in our fake army unless you take my friend’s menses and let me put it under your bed for two weeks.
If you manage to prove yourself a worthy cadet by tolerating the smell of rotting semen and exhibiting a sufficient level of discomfort around gays then you too can earn your way into the cadets. An organization with a proud and storied list of traditions like squeezing their own nuts at football games.
Wait, what?
Feel the pride.
Feel your scrotum.
Threaten a cheerleader with a sword.
A&M Football.
100 Comments
Rocky Top, Bitch
as an ol army aggie whoop gigem i am offended you did not mention texas a&m’s prime location in college station, the town named after the two things which it contains
“Where’s the teeth?”
Nothing I love like a paramilitary cult wearing khaki.
So you, from the great state of Minnesota, which has given us Walter Mondale and Hubert Humphrey, two boring egghead liberal losers who made pathetic runs at the Presidency.
You think that gives you the right to make fun of the greatest part of the great state of Texas, which gave us Governor Niedermeyer, an exciting anti-intellectual paleoconservative loser who is making an awesomely pathetic run at the Presidency:
How dare you, sir.
I’m trying to find a word to describe you. Upset? no. Frustrated? no. Anally anguished aggy? yes.
That’s three words.
Still a SEC team and still a SEC fanbase, and I’d put the worst SEC fanbase over the best of any of you other conferences
GEAUX SEC
GEAUX TIGERS
I have to take issue with the Baylor comment, as we have won the Battle of the Brazos 22 out of the past 25 years. Besides that, I appreciate you spreading the good news of our proud traditions. Thanks and ‘Gig Em.
Waldo Hirschbeck, proudest member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 1954
Where’s Waldo?? Haha get it?
Fuck you. PS, enjoy Jerry Kill for another 7 years dickhead.
Best of luck in the SEC Texas A&M. 2001 Galleryfurniture.com Bowl Champions.
We couldn’t do worse in the SEC than Minnesota has in the Big 10, were you even alive the last time they won a conference championship? Does Minnesota even have what could be considered a fanbase?
Great site outside of this turd, looks like something written by those idiots at ESPN
Do cadets throw a lot of blanket parties, because I’m pretty sure blanket party is a completely apt description of Texas A&M’s entire future in the SEC.
Aside from this bizarre, ill-informed and utterly out-of-left-field attack on Texas A&M, you have a great site. Highly risible.
Who wrote the A&M piece for you? Did you arrest a longwhorn at a NAMBLA meeting in Mankato? Perhaps there’s a techtard on one of the wards in the mental institution where you work? Maybe you were preached at by some snake-handling, hermaphroditic Elmer Gantry clone from Baylor? It’s not really possible that a Golden Gopher has such intense feelings about a school in College Station, Texas. Fess up.
Anyone who has had the misfortune to be exposed to Texas A&M fans, even circuitously, feels this way about Texas A&M. I feel this way about Texas A&M and all they ever did was send me letters about their crappy school after I took my SATs.
Agree. No way someone from Minnesota could come up with this nonsense.
The other thing about this is….we’re talking MINNESOTA! Not Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State – shoot, even Northwestern has made more noise in college football recently than woefully pitiable Minnesota!
Talk about B1G irrelevance, and zero national presence…from Wikipedia:
“Recent history
After their 8–2 record in 1967, the Gophers would not win 8 games in a season again until they went 8–4 in 1999.[4] Their 10–3 record in 2003 gave the Gophers their first 10 win season since 1905.
The 2006 team had the dubious distinction of blowing a 38–7 third-quarter lead in the Insight Bowl against Texas Tech, losing 44-41 in overtime. ”
The University of Minnesota: The Baylor of the Big 10
Gig’em!
“Talk about B1G irrelevance, and zero national presence”
I missed the rest of your post over the din of you calling the kettle black.
Yes, let’s point out how bad Gendo’s team is on a website he made dedicated to how bad his team is. You got him there, GI Joe.
Funny you should mention the ’06 MN team losing the lead in the second half. Blowing the lead in the second half is an aggy tradition. MN did it once in a season, aggy did it 6 times THIS season. In fact, this year’s “Meineke Car Does Anyone Actually Care About This Loser Bowl” was the first bowl victory since 2001 for aTm. aTm has been irrelevant in the landscape of college athletics since they were busted for cheating in the 90′s. They can’t even cheat right. Unfortunately for TX, aTm resides here. However, aggys are known as the cowards of the state. They ran from the challenge of UT like a scared child. The LHN is nowhere near as powerful as they claim – it never has been. And remember, prior to the LHN, aTm was offered to be a partner with UT in a joint network. . . they declined. They were also warned they would lose the traditional UT game if they decided to renege on their word and join the SEC. They made the decision to run to the SEC and were shocked, as you would expect from the biggest morons in the great state of TX, that UT would actually stick to their word and not play aggy through 2016. aTm has been nothing more than mediocre in the BigXII. They will surely continue their tradition of mediocrity in the SEC.
You know what’s missing in your little complaint/rant? Denial that any facts in this article are incorrect. Like most Aggies, when talk of Jizz Jars and odd homo-erotic traditions come up, you don’t deny them (because they’re true), you just change the subject.
Don’t deny the article’s particulars, instead talk about who wrote the article and what their motivations must be. Do anything but talk about how your college celebrates the collection of semen and menstrual fluids as a valued “tradition.”
You know what’s missing in your little complaint/rant? Denial that any facts in this article are incorrect. Like most Aggies, when talk of Jizz Jars and odd homo-erotic traditions come up, you don’t deny them (because they’re true), you just change the subject.
Don’t deny the article’s particulars, instead talk about who wrote the article and what their motivations must be. Do anything but talk about how your college celebrates the collection of semen and menstrual fluids as a valued “tradition.”
The 76 Classic was so> two years ago. Let it go.
This article should be cited. As it sounds like FJK copied and pasted from ESPN.com
I guess that explains the banner text on the top of every page.
I will never understand the south. -Yankee proud.
Freebird burritos suck
Hang on a minute. Freebirds is the only good thing to ever come out of College Station!
Hey now. Freebirds started in Santa Barbara.
Ok, I stand corrected. Let me rephrase my previous post: “Nothing good has ever come out of College Station.”
The only good think to come out of College Station is I-45
idiots
Notice how none of the ags dare deny the weirdness, esp the semen and meunstral fluid filled jars????
They just throw back insults.
They’re too ashamed to defend their own “traditions”.
its still a fraternity and not just A&M has weird traditions
it never fails w/ aggie….let me put it this way to my aggy friends.
when one person tells you things about yourself that you don’t like to hear – it could be that it’s just that person’s opinion.
however, when multiple sources make these same observations – i can promise you aggy friends that it’s not because they all got together and decided to conspire against you.
Aggy can’t get past the emotion of the criticism. they blame everyone else. Problem is, that list is getting long now…ESPN, texas, Baylor, Tech…now Minnesota.
You forgot to mention the jizz jar that Aggies put on top of the bonfire. Yes, the “jar of ejaculate,” as Texas Monthly put it. Is the “placing” of semen in the Mason jar a community affair?
Also, it’d have been nice to list the Aggie Code of Honor, and list every time when it’s been broken: “An Aggie does not lie, cheat, or steal or tolerate those who do.” There are plenty of examples, and if you happen to know any Aggie, you can add your personal list.
Also, racism, sexism and diversity should be topics mentioned. Yes, you’ll find people of color and women who insist that the culture has changed, and maybe it’s not the K-K-K anymore, but again, if you happen to know a white, male Aggie, then you know things aren’t what Aggies portray to outsiders. The open racism and rampant sexism are still there, in force.
I’ve seen Aggies:
* Use racials slurs in private.
* Use racial slurs in public.
* On the Internet, describe A&M as the home of the non-minorities, with a sense of relief that at A&M they can finally be away from people of color (not the term they used).
* Make sexist remarks, and describe women as deserving of subservient status.
* Make fun of someone’s disability.
* Ostracize and make fun of someone for taking prescription meds.
* Use slurs to call others.
These are ultra-conservatives, who doubtlessly think of themselves as “good people.” They probably think they have good manners. Clearly, they think others who think differently than they are the problem. They say so, at almost every opportunity! The above behavior is common among Aggies.
If you compare the culture of N-a-z-i Germany and that of the Aggies, there are some striking similarities. They set up their own, supremacist culture. They use methods to ensure that the entire group thinks the same way (Aggies use hisses and “bad bull” to discourage ideas that don’t conform). They believe themselves to be superior. They use fake “army” uniforms. Might these someday become the official uniform, if Aggies come to power? They’re racist and sexist, and against the disabled.
It appears that this move to the SEC is indeed raising awareness of the Aggies on a national scope, just as they hoped it would. Unfortunately for them, now the entire country is finding out how weird they really are.
They’ve gone from a statewide joke to a national embarrassment. As pointed out above, whenever the nut-grabbing or jizz jar is brought up, there is no denial, just a change of subject or even a patronizing look (as if to say, “I feel sorry for you because you don’t have any idea about the great tradition of Texas A&M. We’ve been jerking off in jars since before jars were invented.”).
I love how that second SMU cheerleader (the one in the red stretch pants) just disposes of the “warrior” with the sword.
“proudest member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 1954″
There is no such thing as a Texas Aggie.
Texas has longhorns.
A&M has Aggies.
They are so envious, they even claim to belong to us. Well, maybe they do. After all, they are little brother.
We were Texas Aggies before your school existed.
Deal with it.
you go La Petmane!
lol aggy mad
Different strokes guys! The camaraderie the alum shares there helps build some strong bonds, so it’s understandable that they come together to defend it!
Can’t make this stuff up folks. And its only the tip of the iceberg, ask about glory holes and male spooning records. They really are the butt of all jokes, from smalltime universities up the biggest. Everyone laughs at aggie.
TXAg2013…. You have proven the point of this blog. You are so brainwashed that you can’t even see how ridiculous you sound. And not once did you bring up the fact that you have won only one bowl game in the past 15 years. Your Tech comment is typical. Aggots said tech painted the buses and poured cow manure in the buses. Turns out it was one bus shoe polished and fish bait was put in the bus. Typical delusional Aggots . Speaking of classless, some just vandalized theUT campus with spray paint and gig em graffiti. You’re pathetic and you are the joke of the ncaa
Really?? This is the lowest of the low. You call us an awful fan base when we have the largest student section in college football, and the best too according to ESPN and anyone you ask who’s been to our games. I mean they even put it in the press packets to warn reporters that the press box sways during the war hymn.
And don’t even begin to hate on our traditions. “From the outside looking in you can’t understand it, and from the inside looking out you can’t explain it.” If you’re an outsider, don’t criticize and hate on what you CLEARLY don’t understand. The cum jar is something that t-sips came up with because they go to a hippie ass school and look for any excuse to make fun of an institution with history that is actually meaningful to our country. Which school has the state liberty bell replica for having the most students fight for their country in the world wars? Us. Which school continues to educate military and political leaders because we have programs like the corps? Us. So quit this nonsense bullshit and know what you’re talking against.
And then this Baylor crap. We OWN Baylor in the Battle of the Brazos. Or did you not watch us dominate that game this year?? And SMU isn’t even in our conference so to hell with that statement as well. We beat the classless Tech this year too and are in line to beat t.u. at home for the last time in what may be several years b/c they don’t “have room” for a 100+ year traditional football game in their schedule.
Now for our traditions….we’re home of the 12th man. Our students stand and yell every game to support our boys on the field and we do this for EVERY SPORT. Not just football. Basketball soccer vball track all the like. Sayin Gig Em and Howdy, doing yells at football games with our yell leaders (whom are a million times more effective than stupid cheerleaders 5 guys get almost 90K ppl to do yells at a game, how good are those cheerleader signs in comparison?) Bonfire, Midnight Yell Practices, Our first lady of Texas A&M, Miss Reveille herself!!
What is your problem with her? t.u. has a longhorn. everytime you go to McDonalds you’re eating a little bit of that crappy cheap meat. Our mascot is treated like a goddess.
Back to more traditions: Fish Camp (a camp for freshmen so we can actually learn about all these great things) the 12th man, the Aggie Ring, not walking on the grass around the student center out of respect for the fallen aggies, Muster, Silver Taps…PLEASE tell me another school that holds a ceremony for any students who might have passed away within the past month?? We give them Silver Taps and a dark night on campus for, again, respect.
I’m so glad my t-sip friend recommended I read this, it’s an extremely good example of poor quality biased blogging. We don’t talk shit about other schools traditions, only the classless things they tend to do. Example: Tech, vandalizing our buses before the game. Buses that turned out to be rented FROM THEIR OWN TOWN. Way to destroy your own buses. T.u. stealing Reveille several years back. Oh that’s a good one. Steal our mascot. Like we’ll never get her back. By the way, it’s because of us yours even has a name! Baylor trying to vandalize us after they’ve already lost….that’s the epitome of class. Oh and stupid LSU fans. Gosh I’ve lived all over the world and never have I met people as rude and tasteless and downright despicable as Tiger fans. I mean really there’s no reason to be bitchy at the Cotton Bowl last year. I hate to admit it but you did win. That’s no reason to act like a grumpy bitch about everything. Texans have fun at football games, you obviously like to go to screw with everyone around you.
Oh and btw it IS Texas Aggies. Because before we shortened it to A&M it was Agricultural & Mechanical. We were the Aggies of Texas. As we were the first university of the state of Texas.
And the list eater is a great joke for us come bowl season. Like I said, we really like football. We’re the 12th man. We want to go to football games. People get a little crazy. To be honest, compared to some of the other wild stunts students at other universities pull, it’s quite tame.
Sorry bout the length. but it had to be said.
Thanks and Gig ‘Em
Continues to educate political leaders? You really want to put your school’s rep on Phil Gramm and Rick Perry?
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I had no idea that shoe polish on a window would “destroy” a bus!!!!!!
In short, to summarize Mr (or Ms.!) Aggie’s argument:
…(Texas)…(Texas)…(General Dog)….(Texas and its’ mascot)….(dead students)….(Texas)….(Texas Tech)….(Texas)…(thinking Gendo is from Texas)…(LSU)…(Texas)
Errr, get back to us again on that :’we are goign to beat Texas in the alst game” bullshit.
27-25. It must absolutely suck when your best team in 80 years ro so cannot beat Texas’ worst team in 20 years,. And that was at YOUR home standium, too.
What you guys gonna do about your fight song now? “Goodby to good ol LS-Yew-ew-ew, goodbye to the purple and the yee-elll-owe.” will you “saw kitty’s claws off” or what?
I think you need to check your sources about “As we were the first university of the state of Texas.” Baylor University was founded in 1845, more than two decades before A&M was even a concept. Your fanatical misrepresentation of facts lowers the credibility of your other statements.
“While that Aggie continues to babble about class make your way to the nearest Texas fan and ask them what they think of the Aggies. The reaction you’ll get in return will fall somewhere between the broad range of a shrug to a disinterested laugh.”
So…what is this then? This is post is offensive to journalism because of its classless bias. The Core of Cadets undergoes stuff just like fraternities do, most of which is disgusting, for the same purpose as frats- to prove commitment and dedication. To the Texas Aggies comment, we are the first PUBLIC school of Texas. So no, we are not t.u.’s “little brother.” Like said before, “from the outside looking in, you can’t understand it, from the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.” Texas A&M has one of the greatest senses of community and family ever seen. We stand at games to show our willingness to support our team. Even when Aggies “run out of time” on the field, we don’t lose spirit, because we’re dedicated to our team. And to the reference about the Core being a “fake army,” you failed to recognize that the Core has more people serve out country than any other college excluding the military focused schools (Westpoint, Army, Navy, etc). And yes, there are some two percenters who have set a bad name and broken the Honor Code, but those do not represent those millions of Aggies past and present who abide by it.
Thanks and Gig’Em,
The Loudest and Proudest Member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 2016
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
The most accurate article ever written about the Aggots. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg. They are the most delusional fan base in all of college sports. The proof is in their responses to this article. They can’t handle the truth.
No one likes you fightintxag2013
you shut up!
fightingtexag2013, was that a very successful troll attempt or are you really that stupid? I hope you were serious because you have reinforced every stereotype about how brainwashed the agotts are. Please go to the rivals mainboard and post your thoughts.
Pretty sure aggy started off as a college and not a university. So I doubt you were the first university in Texas.
what do you know!
Baylor was here before Texas was a state, TX A&M was the first university OF Texas but not the first IN Texas
FightingTXAG2013 proves the stereotypes, what a tard, has to be someone pretending to be an aggy to make them look bad.
man you guys are all idiots
The guy that wrote the article is 100% spot on! Aggys are a delusional, brainwashed cult, who takes themselves waaaay too seriously. From the inside looking out, you can’t explain it, and from the outside looking in, you’re viewed as idiots and you’re the butt of all jokes! aggy writes their own jokes! They will be the SEC’s perennial bitch. Hell, they weren’t even competitive in the Big 12. No one underachieves more than a&m.
http://www.dailytexanonline.com/news/2011/10/23/vandals-target-ut-campus-graffiti
I don’t understand, why the fuck is the mascot a fucking dog but an aggie is generally accepted to be a horse or pony?
The best I could find was this:
It seems that no matter where one goes outside of Aggieland, there are always those who ask, “What is an Aggie anyway?” I am so glad they ask because it gives me an opportunity to talk about one of my favorite subjects. I usually respond by first telling them what an Aggie is NOT. An Aggie is not a pig or hog, as they are called in the Ozarks. An Aggie is not a horse, such as the one representing that school out in West Texas. An Aggie is not a pony, like the one in “SMUland.” We are certainly not a frog or horned toad, nor a Waco bruin or bear. We are not a little ol’ cat or a fowl owl like those in Houston. Most definitely, we are not of the long-horned cattle variety. If we were, we would be a bull or a cow rather than some non-productive steer. (Since a steer is non-productive, and t.u. chooses to be represented by a steer, then logic would follow that t.u. must consider themselves…Hey, don’t get mad at me or say, “that’s a little strong.” I didn’t pick their mascot, they did.)
The fact is that an Aggie is not any type of animal. We have Reveille, who is our 1st Lady, but we’re not the Texas A&M Reveilles. We’re the Aggies. An Aggie is a human. When I think of an Aggie, I think of church, community, and state leaders. I think of the many Aggies who have sacrificed their lives as defenders of freedom through their service to the United States of America.
Aggies are the first to answer the call to serve their country. Aggies are ministers of the gospel, coaches of Little League teams, public school teachers, and leaders in community projects. Many are medical doctors, veterinarians, and engineers. Others are civil servants, congressmen, and entrepeneurs. Thankfully, many are responsible for feeding the world as farmers, ranchers, and agricultural researchers. And we all know that if it were not for Aggies who become lawyers, there wouldn’t be such a thing as a “good” lawyer. In essence, Aggies get things done. We are doers! Aggies are the Twelfth Man, builders of bonfires, carriers of tradition, participants in Musters, and, too often, attenders of Silver Taps ceremonies. Texas Aggies say HOWDY. We know how to look a man in the eye and shake hands. Aggies get a chill up our spine when we hear the National Anthem or sing the “Spirit of Aggieland” or “Aggie War Hymn,” or when we march to chow under the direction of a drum and bugle corps.
What is an Aggie? Who are the Aggies? It is simple, “We are the Aggies, the Aggies are we, true to each other as only Aggies can be…” <
WTF?
Shit, block quote fail.
I remember now- is this the school that built a big fire that ended up crushing students?
SEC fans should be happy. In recent history, Aggots are 0-7 against SEC teams with a average losing margin of 18 points. Count them as a win. Get ready for a freak show when they come to town. It’s a cult, so be careful.
What’s an Aggie’s favorite vegetable?
Squash.
you are one disrespectful ass hole
The press box sways because of inadequate lateral structure. It was probably designed by the same engineering professor who over sees bon fire construction.
How many aggies does it take to build a bonfire?
There the SECs problem now…what a relief.
They’re the SECs problem now…what a relief.
I enjoy the fact that an entire conference worth of fans is going through what I went through last year. Last year was the first (probably the last) time I paid any attention to Big 12 football. Also the first time I paid attention to football, period. Most of the questions I asked over the entire season that weren’t related to actual gameplay (What is a football, why is that guy catching it and dropping to one knee, OMG he threw it out of bounds that was so dumb) were during Aggie games, and they had the underlying theme of “What in the name of god are those guys there for/doing/looking so proud about?”
Now all of the SEC gets the same experience.
Maybe it would help our national profile if we didn’t take ourselves so seriously that we have rush en masse to defend the honor of our precious alma mater the second its name pops up on an inside joke laden post on a half-serious out of state sports blog.
What’s wrong with having a jar of semen under your bed in college? I had one. Of course by “jar” I mean “old tube sock.”
They’re a super classy school with classy Athletic director with the classiest fans. Aggies LOVE throwing out that word, ironically enough. They have spent the last ten years behind UT, TCU and Texas Tech and they decide they need to step out of the shadow of just UT?
Seriously, that tweet from Bill Byrne was the least “classy” thing he could have done. Finding out everything he said was a lie was a cherry on top. Yall will not be missed. Thank you for the joke that is Rick Perry.
Dear SEC,
Please don’t mistake the aggy nation for typical Texans. Most of us are fairly normal people. We more than anyone understand what you are about to have to go through. We have been tolerating these nitwits for over 100 years and are thrilled to be getting rid of them.
Aggys as individuals are usually pretty nice people, but you dare not let them gather in any group otherwise they start grabbing their balls, whooping, and going on ad nauseum about “old army, red ass, 2%’ers, blah, blah, blah”. It is enough to make anyone car sick. They do it at funerals, they do it at weddings, they do it where they are guests and nobody wants them to do it and don’t EVER get in the way of their tradition. Their first time into the hallowed home stadiums of the SEC they will appropriate the main street and march their Hitley Youth Band down it, they will occupy somepace you hold dear and expect you to love their traditions. Please note on the Corp you will have hundreds of pimple faced geeks with more medals than soldiers with ten tours in Iraq.
Think of 50,000 of the nerdiest band, glee, and drama, kids you knew in HS coming together and telling everyone everywhere even if they DID NOT ask how cool, important, and great they are.
All of their gay little traditions are absolutely true ESPECIALLY the ones they deny. They DO beat off into a jar and put it on their bonfire and somehow this symbolizes their hatred for Texas. If they beat you one time out of 100 they will somehow translate that into a lifetime of domination over you and swear that YOU are THEIR rival and you cannot live without them and did they tell you about how great they are?
Howdy and whoop my God they are fags.
No give backs.
Son of a t-sip
People base the quality of school on football entirely too much. The quality of education should be what matters. Who cares about other people’s traditions. Does it affect your life? Probably not. There are more important things to worry about
“I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy…”
Also, Texas is OU’s little brother. Let’s not be hypocrites.
As a senior here at A&M who is involved with multiple parts of our history that you have so brutally attacked (though I will decline to represent them in any official capacity), I see your sensless hatred for what we do as something that is frustrating yet entertaining. I believe you misunderstand our avoidance of denial as meaning that it is some unsavory secret truth. The fact of the matter is, ladies and gentlemen, that I feel inclined to say that most of us see it as not worth our time. The fact that so many members of my beloved Texas community feel so inclined roam the web searching for places to attack us as Aggies, while for the most part we are content to just move on past the ravings of angry people who make no attempts to understand who we are and why we do what we do, is vindication in itself that we are right in the way we live. Aggies strive to give the best that they can give in all that they do, especially those who spend four years of their lives training and pushing themselves towards personal betterment in the Corps of Cadets. We have a deep seeded commitment to each other, our state, and our country, easily visible by the fact that we sent a total of 20,229 Aggies to serve in World War II. I do not feel that it is necessary for me to justify all of our traditions to people who will refuse to give us a chance, but I will say that there is no way you can understand the context of what you are talking about in this post. We have a storied history and a proud heritage and nothing you say can do anything to change that. Football struggles of the past decade or not, your attacks on our school and our students are unfounded. As I said previously, I would have normally moved on from this post and dismissed it as unimpressive and false ravings of an uninformed group of rabble-rousers, but today I happened to have a few minutes to spare.
Thanks for the read and Gig ‘Em,
gosh mister thems a lot of big words you used there you must be real smart
“The school that I attend sent a bunch of folks to a war that happened 70 years ago and I will claim whatever tangential credit I can from that as if it were a personal achievement, to settle a football argument in the comments section of a Big-10 football blog”
- an idiot
You forgot to mention how there are thousands of former Corps of Cadets members serving in the US Military. Also how, outside of the service academies, Texas A&M commissions more officers than any other school. And more officers served in WWII from Texas A&M (14,123) than the COMBINED totals of the US Military Academy and the US Navel Academy. Every day Aggies are fighting alongside other Americans so that you have the freedom to post ignorant things like this online. I’m in the Fighting Texas Aggie Cadet Corps, and literally none of those things you said are even close to being accurate.
You’re still subservient slaves to a fucking dog so it’s not like we have to respect you for anything.
As a cadet, I’d rather serve a dog than a black.
“I’m in the Fighting Texas Aggie Cadet Corps” = “I’m in the Fisher Price play pretend Army and there’s a 40 percent chance I might join the actual one”
I’m an actual veteran of the actual, federally- funded United States Army. The one that shoots real guns and doesn’t punish their testicles to defend the honor of something that eats its own turds. I did less to defend your freedom (to argue football in the comments of a joke blog) in one year in Iraq than the average policeman does on a 12 hour shift. Sorry if this bursts your bubble!
Funny how you’re still quoting WWII stats as if they give your argument (in the comments section of a Big 10 football blog) that Texas A&M is above mocking any more weight. Since your worldview apparently gives undue weight to the opinion and accomplishments of people who served in the military, process this:
This is an actual veteran of the actual Army telling you your school, your traditions and your fake Army are ridiculous and you should maybe come back when you have some actual personal accomplishments to trumpet!
lol 74 comments, aggy mad
I am suprised that some aggy has not used the mythological quote attributed to Patton that NEVER occured about how aggys basically won WW II for us.
Aggy has ROTC everyone else does too. Somehow their ROTC makes aggy superior to everyone else.
They never deny the goofy shit. They just go on and on about how great they are and nobody else can understand their greatness. They are friendlier than anyone else. they are classier than anyone else. Yet somehow only their fans get rudely abused by everyone elses fans. They welcome everyone elses fans with open arms a free bbq and beer and khumbaya,
They will expect to have a little pep rally only they call it “yell practice” in your stadium after they get their butt whipped and if you are offended well too bad that is their tradition.
They have yell leaders and don’t ever call them cheer leaders because aggy is dfferent and don’t you forget it.
You will be ready to throw up after about ten minutes of their sanctimonious lecturing about how superior they are in every way to you and you should not take offense that they are just pointing out the truth to you that they are superior in every way. And by the way they are superior to you in every way because they are aggy.
If you really want to get an insight to how goofy they are check out Texags.com.
Once again no give backs, they are YOURS now SEC!!!
And thank God for that.
There are some good Aggies out there, but most that I have encountered are delusional idiots. The State of Texas is embarrassed by them. Wish we could literally move all of them to an Sec state and get them the f*** out of here. :/
aggy was preseason picked to win the Big 12 and yes, they dominated the Battle of the Brazos. However, when the dust settled aggy was left with a losing conference record, no national ranking, a coaching staff getting fired (in a very public and embarrassing manner if I may add) and losing to big brother ut. Baylor on the other hand had a winning record, top 15 BCS ranking, a Heisman trophy and a coaching staff that was retained after being courted by other schools. Looks like aggy won the “battle” but lost the war. Oh and that same ut team that beat you at sacred kyle field got absolutely rolled in Waco.
Preseason co-favorites to win the Big 12 in hoops as well. Let’s see, got swept by Baylor and big brother ut.
Also, that “12th Man” was no where to be found at Reed, even with the defending national champs the lady aggy also getting swept by Baylor and big brother ut.
See a pattern here? You athletic prowess is all in your head. You sure are making a splash in your last year in the conference that you seem to think is beneath you. Psssst, here’s a tip, the SEC wants you only for a recruiting advantage in Texas. You are nothing more than used goods and mediocre used goods at that.
Aggy, building (preseason) champions. Whoop(s).
you have one year and you get the right to talk??? it must suck when the only season you’ve ever had that was worth a sh*t is stained with the absolute beat down by a 6-6 aggie team. and screw bball, we are in texas. keep bball, your still baylor. come back next year and let’s talk. RG3 left your sorry as*es high and dry and mr. grinner leaves, your f*cked once again.
all you other poor bast*rds that sit on the comp all night and right this stuff are completely pathetic. you talk all this trash behind a screen. most of yall couldn’t get into a&m to see what its all about and thats understandable… tech needs students too. the others are the over confident ut hippies that act like yall dont care about a&m but from what i’v read, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
so keep it up, no one really gives a sh*t. aggies will continue being your bosses in the work place, if you even work, and continue expanding its brand in the SEC. sorry sips, your in the rearview… baylor, well your still baylor.
tl;dr
Really? You couldn’t come up with better smack than this? Creativity is not this Author’s strong suit. Anyone who believes this crap is even dumber.
To consider the new economy is finished is like somebody working in london in 1830 saying the complete industrial revolution is finished because some textile manufacturers in Manchester went broke.
It’s known as a pen. It’s as being a printer, hooked directly to my brain.
http://mobile.doubletnation.com/2012/4/20/2962036/lawrence-knox-aggie-swag-official-music-video-via-lawrence-knox-vomit
I would just like to point out the Aggies most recent football season, which included defeating the national champions and only two losses. And lets not forget the Cotton Bowl where OU was shut down, making A&M one of the best teams in the country.
http://www.statesman.com/news/sports/college-football/bohls-the-no-1-preseason-team-for-2013-oh-the-aggi/nT7JW/
How you like us now…crow is being prepared.
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